Junior Boys Soccer

7 January 2026Mr Paul Collis

Sure, gold gets a lot of press. All his life, that villain Auric Goldfinger loved its colour, its brilliance, its divine heaviness. And nobody paid Scaramanga one million dollars a shot for an ounce of lead. But let’s take a moment to praise bronze.

There was, of course, a Bronze Age, around the 4th millennium BCE, and let’s not forget what Browning’s Duke of Ferrara humble-brags as he and the terrified envoy descend the stairs together:

Notice Neptune, taming a seahorse, thought a rarity

Which Claus of Innsbruck cast in bronze for me.

This year’s iteration of the Junior Boys Soccer team won the local Central League. How easily? Imagine a six-month-old infant. Now, put a Snickers bar in that bundle of joy’s chubby fist. Then, snatch it from him. That’s how easily.

At Islands, we won our first game, then won our second, putting us in a winner-take-all match with Royal Bay. We came up two goals short, and ended up in the third-place final, where we won again. Third on the Island, no mean feat, and we melted those bronze medals down to sport the best fake Snowball tans the school has ever seen.

James Bond will return, and so will the junior boys.

Mr Paul Collis

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