Growing Old

28 June 2011Indre S

I don’t like to, but I will admit it: I’ve grown old. No longer do I gaze upon senior students in awe, wondering what they were like back in the day. I am now one of those students. I tell tales to the younger girls of how, back when I was their age, I had to answer the house phone every time it rang or how there were different sign-in times and the cafeteria was on the other side of campus. Now, parents who are reading this, please don’t take offense (I’m sure my father right now is asking himself “If she thinks she’s old, then what am I?!”). I don’t refer to myself as aged in terms of the real world—I’m strictly speaking in terms of Brentwood students.

For the past five years, I have been imagining my graduation day. Now, as it steadily approaches and looms a mere three days away, I realize it cannot possibly be as amazing as I assumed it would be. The opportunities for the future are endless, but I will never be able to come back to this past. The teachers, friends, sisters, and houseparents I have encountered on my five year journey are what attach me to the school; they are my support system, and have helped mold me into my current self. I don’t know what to expect in life from now on. I won’t wake up to my roommate snoring. I won’t have my houseparents remind me to go to bed or be quiet in prep. I won’t have hot meals made for me daily in the same building where I can go drop off my laundry. I won’t be able to rely on those who have helped me come so far.

However much I don’t want to let go of Brentwood, it has begun to let go of me. I can tell, by the way the grade 9s look at me as if I am too old to be here, or by how the grade 11s are eager to fill my shoes, that my time is up. I don’t fit in anymore; Brentwood is a place that helps you grow, and as I am about to graduate, I realize it has done all that it can for me. So, this time of excitement is more a time of dread, but I have reached the stage of acceptance. Thank you, Brentwood, Brentwood staff, Brentwood students; I can only hope that I have made as positive an impact on you as you have on me.

P.S. Happy belated father’s day, dad! Since I know you are the Blog’s most avid follower, I feel like this message would reach you faster than a postcard. 😉

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