The Numero Uno 1

19 September 2011Cherrie K

Seven days into the epic Orientation journey, the newly coroneted Brentonians face their first major challenge: The Number One Inspection.

Completing this task will require a great many traits: tenacity, audacity, courage…and the meticulous skill of disentangling a mess.

The Number One Inspection is an irreplaceable part of the Brentwood culture, and traditionally occurs on Saturday mornings. From Monday to Friday, desks are allowed to be slightly messy, clothes may be stuffed quickly into drawers – but once Saturday rolls around, every wrinkle in the bedcovers must be whipped into taut submission.

The mother of all inspections, the Number One Inspection demands that each student clean their tabletops with such vigor that even the Gods of Cleaning will be able to see their reflections on the polished surface. There are beds to be made, dust to be scooped from every dark, dirty corner in the room, clothes to be folded. Books are to be shelved vertically with their spines showing, like an organized row of soldiers standing to attention. Vacuums are a precious commodity, and the tug of war between dorm rooms for spray bottles and cleaning cloths is never ending.

The Inspectors of The Number One are a highly intelligent species: they have honed their eyes to spot dust balls drifting on the curtain rod, or neglected flecks of lint cowering in the shadows. Brentwood inspection standards are exceptionally high, and full satisfaction is difficult to extract from these astute inspectors.

There are prizes for the dorm that is the cleanest: some have taken to color coding their wardrobes, buying flowers, or even cuing their inspector’s favorite song to play as they walk into the room – all in effort to claim the prize, and of course, coveted honor of The Cleanest Dorm.

Whether one wins or loses, one thing is for sure: after The Numero Uno, one will never forget to dust all 360 degrees of a curtain rod ever again.

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