The Atmosphere of Brentwood’s 2014 Regatta: Otherwise Known As The Greatest Event In Sports Entertainment History

25 April 2014Toby CH, Rec Rowing B-Team Assistant Back Up Captain Privett ‘15

There will come a time when the oceans will run dry. Be it because of the human race’s own thoughtless overconsumption and pollution, or the wish of some all-powerful and malevolent god, there will come a time when the sea creatures die. Octopus will flail their appendages frantically, desperately trying to grab on to their homely substance that just will not be there. Seals will cry out to their dehydrated mothers with their voices cracked and broken. The once loved beaches of Miami will be nothing more than vast, desertesque expanses of sandy nothingness. There will come a time when the oceans run dry, it will happen, it’s almost upon us there’s no escape– but today is not that day. No, today the 2014 Brentwood College School Annual Regatta will commence in all of its explosive glory. In an event boasting literally thousands upon thousands of participants including boatloads of rowers, countless voluntolds, and pod of atmosphere enhancing seals, hardly will there ever be a calm moment – much like living the happy life of Jordan R [Privett ‘15]. What was once a picturesque palace of peaceful serenity has no been turned into a rampantly rowerfilled metropolis with almost as much action has Gareth Evans fantastic new film Raid 2: Berandal. On a side note, this was no instantaneous transition. Although Headmaster Bud Patel is presumed to have magic powers, this fine transformation from homely boarding school into seething pit of uncoordinated giraffe-like athletes was done by the hard working men and women of Brentwood’s maintenance team. Each and every Brentwood student would like to thank the carpenters, pressure washers, and gardeners for their triumphant efforts this current regatta; your efforts have not gone unnoticed. Despite Skyler R’s [Privett ‘15] vociferous and rather violent vocal barrages against the long standing tradition, the Brentwood gym is beginning to fill with athletes from wide and far. From the rainy, rainy coast of Oregon to the rival grounds of Shawnigan participant athletes now occupy not only the gym, but also the squash courts, old dining hall, and abandoned classrooms. Brentwood campus now mixes with a confusing aroma of anticipation, excitement, and the freshly placed outhouses. All powerful. All unique. However, within a few days time Brentwood College’s own entrepreneurship 11 students will be firing up their respective booths, offering an interesting variety of foods from poutine to churros. Although it may lessen the scrumptious smell of freshly placed outhouse, the food will certainly be delicious. Brentwood students will soon be surrounded my myriads of throngs of strangers, wandering parents and lost, confused old people who just wanted to get one last whiff of that sweet, sweet freshly placed outhouse smell before they rowed their last race, so to speak. Albeit a thoroughly intimidating environment in terms of sheer number, this is a warm and welcoming place to be. Fierce competitors on the water will be soon be just faces in the large, happy crows that will soon flood Brentwood’s campus. I think Hayden L [Privett ‘15] put it best when he said “regatta is like Thanksgiving dinner. There’s lots of people, lots of food, and I only cry a couple times, but seriously sometimes Aunt Beckie can be a total diva roach.” The event is fast approaching its peak. Be ready. Be excited. Be a part of Brentwood Regatta 2014. Toby CH Rec Rowing B-Team Assistant Back Up Captain Privett ‘15

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